What does "trust yourself" actually mean?

We talk a lot in the Birth Prep Circle about “trusting yourself,” but this phrase can feel vague or even frustrating if you don’t know what it really means. It can also feel loaded, especially in a birth culture that sometimes uses the phrase “trust your body” as if it guarantees a particular outcome.

This week, I was rereading one of my favorite birth books, Mindful Birthing by Nancy Bardacke, CNM, and came across a passage that captures this idea better than almost anything else I’ve seen. She writes:

“You are the ultimate authority on your experience, and learning how to trust your inner wisdom is the path to what is best for you in birthing, parenting, or the general conduct of your life. As you practice mindfulness, the capacity to trust yourself grows, and inner strength, confidence, and self-reliance emerge, helping you take full responsibility for your choices and your actions. This kind of trust is not about anything external. It's not about ‘trusting the birth process’ or ‘trusting your body’, for if you adopt this way of thinking and your birth doesn't go the way you wish or expect, you may find yourself rushing headlong into the pain of the judging mind. Mindfulness practice offers a different kind of trust — a trust in yourself, a trust that you can handle whatever unfolds during pregnancy, in your birth experience, or with your baby, no matter how challenging, difficult, painful, scary, or far from what you imagined it might be.”
— Nancy Bardacke, CNM, Mindful Birthing

We couldn’t agree more.

So often, when people think about self-trust in birth, they imagine it means trusting themselves to make all the “right” choices… or trusting their body to behave a certain way… or trusting birth to unfold according to their plan.

But that’s not real trust — that’s pressure.

The kind of self-trust we teach in the Birth Prep Circle is different.
It’s deeper.
It’s grounded.

It’s not about trusting that you’ll do everything perfectly.
It’s trusting that you can meet whatever comes.

It’s trusting that:

You can make decisions that feel aligned in the moment.
You can adjust when things shift.
You can advocate for yourself.
You can ask questions.
You can pause.
You can say yes.
You can say no.
You can find steadiness even when things don’t go as expected.

This is the foundation of our entire 8-week program — helping you cultivate a kind of self-trust that isn’t dependent on outcomes. A trust rooted in your ability to navigate uncertainty, sensation, emotion, and change.

Because birth doesn’t ask you to predict the future.
It asks you to meet the moment you’re in.

And that skill — that inner steadiness — is something you take with you long after birth. It’s the beginning of your parenting journey, and it shapes how you show up for yourself and your baby for years to come.

If this message resonates with you, our next 8-week Birth Prep Circle begins in January — the perfect time for spring and early-summer due dates. And if someone you know would benefit from this kind of preparation, please feel free to share this with them.

We would truly love to support you.

Always in your corner,
Kayla & Leslie