Our take on freebirth

We've been watching the conversations surrounding the recent death of Stacey Werneke, and before we say anything else, we want to acknowledge that regardless of the circumstances, a woman died and a family is grieving. Whatever conversations come from this tragedy, that reality deserves to stay at the center. Our hearts go out to her family and friends. 

Like so many birth conversations, this one quickly became a debate about freebirth. People are arguing about the dangers of freebirth, the legitimacy of birthkeepers, and whether it’s safe for women to make these choices. But we think there's a bigger, more important question to consider. 

Why are women willing to go to the absolute edge to avoid the medical system?

Because whether you agree with freebirth or not, that question should stop all of us in our tracks. The narrative we're seeing repeated over and over is that women who choose freebirth are reckless, uninformed, anti-science, or being manipulated by social media. In our experience, that's rarely true.

Most women choosing freebirth have spent hundreds of hours researching birth. They've read the books, listened to the podcasts, studied physiology, confronted all of their fears and "what ifs," and walked into their birth feeling deeply grounded in their decision. Many have also had previous experiences within the medical system where they felt ignored, coerced, traumatized, or deeply failed by the system. 

That doesn't mean we would make the same choices they did. And that doesn’t mean freebirth is right for everyone. But it does mean that for the women making the choice to freebirth, they're making it for real, valid reasons. And instead of asking what's wrong with those women, or what's wrong with freebirth, we think it's worth asking a different question:

What is happening inside maternity care that makes some women feel safer giving birth completely outside it, sometimes at all costs?

In many places, community midwives are heavily restricted, difficult to access, or simply unavailable. Here in Nebraska, it is a felony for a licensed provider to attend an out-of-hospital birth. Because of restrictions like these, some women find themselves choosing between a hospital birth they don't feel safe in and no provider at all.

Then we're surprised when some choose no provider at all.

Postpartum hemorrhage is a medical emergency. It can sometimes be managed at home with a skilled provider, and sometimes it requires a higher level of care. We can acknowledge that while also recognizing that our maternity culture has created enough distrust that some women are willing to assume enormous risk to avoid participating in it.

To us, that's the real conversation. Not that women are negligent, misinformed, or irresponsible in choosing freebirth. But enough women have lost so much trust in the maternity care system that they're willing to go to extraordinary lengths to avoid it.

We should be asking why.

Always in your corner,

Kayla & Leslie